Why Do I Feel Bad for My Abuser?

There are a few reasons why it can be difficult to leave an abusive relationship, but the most common one is that a victim has developed an attachment to their abuser. This attachment makes them feel like they can’t survive without the abuser, and makes it incredibly hard to build a new life without them. Another reason why it can be tough to leave an abusive relationship is because abusers often use fear and intimidation to keep victims trapped in their relationships. Victims may fear being alone or homelessness, which makes it difficult to take the first steps needed to leave an abusive relationship. Finally, victims may be reluctant to leave because they don't believe that they'll be able to find a better life on their own. After all, society teaches us that our worth as individuals depends on how well we conform to expectations of society, and many people think that abusers are simply part of society and therefore not incompatible with normal life goals. However, this is not always the case – we can

The cycle of abuse is perpetuated by this exchange: abuser takes away power (control), victim feels helpless and anxious, and then Abuse repeats itself over time because it’s easier than facing the fear and anxiety of being truly on their own.

Behavior that is harmful, coercive or threatening Invalidation of your feelings and concerns Controlling how you spend your time Non-stop criticism and denigration The fear of abandonment creates intense fear in the victim. Victims display behaviors such as being very clingy, needing constant reassurance, isolating themselves from friends and family, and failing to assert their own interests. Some victims may also experience physical violence as a result of the abusive relationship.

Yes, feeling angry at your abuser is definitely a normal and human response.

There is no universal answer to this question. Every person experiences abuse in their own way and may feel different levels of shame and guilt. If you are struggling to cope with the abuse, it is important to speak to someone about your feelings: a friend, therapist, or helpline.